Late-Night Comics Target Trump's New 'Gold Card' Visa Program

Late-night's leading comedians devoted their evening ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's recently announced immigration program, called the "golden visa," describing it as a blatant pay-to-play arrangement for the affluent.

The Late Show's Pointed Analysis

Opening his show, Stephen Colbert offered a mock Christmas tune about the commander-in-chief. "He is making a list, checking it twice, then giving that list to the officials at ICE," he intoned. "The President ... ruins each thing he touches."

The focus was the new program which enables overseas individuals to buy U.S. residency for the price of one million dollars, with a "platinum" version for 5 million. A government website guarantees processing "with unprecedented speed."

"A quick message for you to rich immigrants: before you pony up, what about Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He noted that the program is also intended to "extract cash" from companies looking to hire foreign workers, involving significant payments. "That's a lot of fees, but if you enroll, you also get two free nights at a hotel of your choosing – provided that it's the that one hotel," he continued.

"Unprecedented vetting the government has ever done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these people truly meet the standard to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Critique

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."

"It's a card that will allow affluent foreigners to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million bucks, you get official visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one serious crime of your choosing."

"It might be time to update that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel lampooned the simplicity of the form, noting it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus always said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Economic Struggles

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's declining poll ratings amid economic worries. "Voters gave Donald Trump a second term since they were angry about the economy," he explained.

This week, in a attempt to tackle cost of living, Trump conducted a press conference in front of a selection of food items, and behaved strangely to boxes of cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."

"Trump is so incredibly weird," Meyers reacted. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by mocking right-leaning news defenses of Trump's economic record. "Maybe rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy like the one FIFA did," he laughed.