🔗 Share this article

When reports emerged that a prominent couple had been murdered and their son, Nick Reiner, was a person of interest, it thrust substance use disorder back into the public spotlight. However, families affected by a child’s substance use are concerned the discussion will center on an exceedingly rare act of homicide rather than the more widespread dangers of the disease.

A Familiar Pain

Ron Grover and his wife, Darlene, have been closely following the news. They only knew the Reiners professionally, yet they feel a connection: their own son also developed a dependency at 15 to painkillers and later heroin, much like Nick Reiner, and spent years cycling through rehab and the legal system. After seven excruciating years, their son got sober in July 2010.

“It’s just heartbreaking,” says Grover. “It tears you up, because that’s a family destroyed, just like so many other families we know whose loved ones didn’t survive the disease of addiction.”

The Scope of the Crisis

More than a significant majority of Americans report their lives have been touched by addiction—whether through personal struggle, a family member’s dependency, housing instability from addiction, or an overdose leading to hospitalization or loss, according to 2023 data.

Approximately 16.8% of Americans, or 48.4 million people, were living with a drug or alcohol addiction in 2024.

“This can happen to anyone, no matter how wealthy you are, no matter how disadvantaged you are, no matter how influential you are,” emphasized Grover.

The Weight of Judgment

The Reiner story resonated deeply with Greg, who leads a family support group. “We talk a lot about how it’s a condition that affects the whole family,” Greg said. “It has a tremendous impact on others’ lives.”

However, he is worried that the murders will make people “very wary of anybody who’s admitted to having an addiction, and think that they could become violent at any point in time. And that’s simply inaccurate,” Greg added.

These “are really important conversations to have, since addiction is so prevalent in the United States and the rates have continually increased,” stated an academic researcher who studies addiction and criminal justice. She pointed to the significant stigma surrounding addiction and mental health in the U.S., including the “idea of someone being really dangerous and the potential for harming others.”

She also cautioned against jumping to conclusions about the alleged role of the son or his condition at the time, noting it is not known whether drugs or psychological distress were recent factors.

“I’m afraid that people are going to take their biased views of addiction and substance use disorder, and fill in the gaps to try to make sense of what happened,” she said. “Because of his past, the first thing that everyone is talking about is his addiction.”

Separating Myth from Fact

While addiction can lead to erratic actions, and some substances may increase aggression, a violent crime like a double homicide is highly unusual.

“The vast majority of people with addiction or this illness do not ever show anything remotely close to violent behavior. It’s a true anomaly,” the expert explained. “The actual reality is a person is significantly more likely to harm themselves than anyone else.”

The Constant Anxiety

Both Greg and Grover have lived with fear—not of their sons, but for them.

“I’m afraid he’s going to be lost at some point,” Greg said. “If he relapses, it’s eventually going to kill him. That’s my biggest fear. And my other fear is just being cut off from him.” He described the agonizing decisions parents face, such as setting boundaries and sometimes making the “excruciating” choice that an adult child cannot live at home.

“Our fear then was, every single night you went to sleep, that you could get that call or that knock on the door telling you that he was never coming home,” said Grover. Those fears are present “every single day, every day of the year, for a parent.”

He recounted the terrifying calls: from the hospital saying a son was not breathing; from prison, where a parent might justify behavior by thinking, “ ‘Well, at least he shoplifted to support his habit; at least he wasn’t breaking into the neighbors’ houses.’”

Isolation and Judgment

Parents often battle isolation—questioning whether the addiction was caused by some mistake they made; bearing guilt for a child’s actions; and dreading the stigma directed at both parent and child.

It is very difficult to understand a family’s ordeal without having been through it, Greg noted. “With addiction, it can shift instantly. You could be content one day and miserable the next... It’s not unusual for that to happen.”

The Path Forward

Data indicates about 75% of people with addiction are able to achieve recovery.

“Just as you can get over any other type of disease, you can overcome this condition, too. You can recover and be productive,” said Grover. “If you try and you stumble, you get up and try again.”

Today, his son is a married with children, holds a university education, and works as a skilled tradesperson. Grover reflected on his struggle to “fix” his son, realizing it wasn’t possible.

“I can push him into recovery if I want to, but if he doesn’t grasp my hand for help, it’s not going to succeed,” he said.

Yet, they always told him they loved him and had faith in him.

“I tell any parent or anybody else that’s dealing with someone struggling with drugs: make sure your hand is always, always outstretched, because you never know when they’ll take it and accept help.”